DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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