Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Screwed.edu
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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