my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
