That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
