Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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