God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We got so high we made milksteak
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
