Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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