People in love make me want to vomit
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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