Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
