So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
