She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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