Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
