I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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