he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
