I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
