nut hugger
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need a burrito and a hug.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
