Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
