I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
