he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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