He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
