How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well I just put wine in my tea
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
