dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
