Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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