Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
