Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize