im having a threesome with these popsicles
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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