Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
too bad you live with your parents still
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
