I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she peed on how many people?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
