The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
