Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize