I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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