You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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