I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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