What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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