making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
