your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize