You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
