Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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