he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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