There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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