Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
