So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
