How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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