Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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