Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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