There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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