god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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