seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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