dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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