what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
