no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
