I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
