Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yo dont text me then not text me
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
