DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
