i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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