the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
a search helicopter?!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
