she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
