How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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