I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want nice things and good sex
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
