I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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