Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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