idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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