She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
