do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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