My nipple is on Facebook.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
