I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
