You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
