It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
