he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
