I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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