well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
