i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
