I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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