Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
