I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
