So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
