Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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