I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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