please come you make the beer taste better
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
